Bilal Pasha, born in a deprived area of Southern Punjab, faced financial challenges as his parents were laborers. Due to economic constraints, he completed his primary education through a mosque-based school. Recognizing the widespread underdevelopment in Southern Punjab, Bilal started his higher education with intermediate studies at Emerson College in Multan and pursued a bachelor's degree in agriculture from the University of Faisalabad. Despite others' skepticism, he aimed high, eventually passing the CSS exam after initially attending a lower-tier educational institution.
Bilal Pasha initially started his career with a private job but, in accordance with his parents' wishes, transitioned to government service. He joined the police force and successfully became a Sub-Inspector. Later, working in various government departments and climbing through the ranks, he achieved success by passing the CSS exam in 2018.
Bilal Pasha, rather than concealing his background, chose to stand alongside his laborer father with a white beard during interviews. He aimed to ignite a beacon of hope among Pakistani youth, challenging the notion that CSS success was reserved for the elite class. The ripple effect was profound, with thousands of young minds embracing the dream of CSS success. The journey had begun, and a multitude of aspiring individuals found inspiration in the pursuit of this path.
Irfan Khan's powerful statement, "When days like ours arrive, death lurks in the middle," resonated with Bilal Pasha's life. The reason behind Bilal's tragic death was a relentless struggle with depression encountered during his civil service. Despite his statements suggesting he might either quit his job or resort to self-harm, the true depth of his inner turmoil became evident through this struggle with depression within the civil service system.
Bilal's death highlights two profound aspects: firstly, the life-threatening ailment of depression. This affliction, which grips even the billionaire son of Tariq Jameel, serves as a stark reminder of its indiscriminate nature. Secondly, the caution against pursuing our dreams so relentlessly that they become a Pyrrhic Victory. Drawing parallels with Napoleon's defeat in Russia, it emphasizes the importance of not losing sight of the bigger picture, even in the pursuit of personal goals. Bilal, had he stuck to an ordinary job at the seventeenth scale, might have avoided becoming a casualty of this Pyrrhic Victory.
The saying One who is yearning will find a way, even if they find it, what will you do?" or Charles Bukowski's words, "Find what you love and let it kill you," resonate with Bilal's journey. Pursuing CSS, he faced the harsh realities of bureaucracy, where 17% of bureaucrats bid farewell to their blue pen and green number plate every year. Bilal echoed the sentiment that people may see the badge and number plate, but they don't see what lies within. Now, the judgment day has passed for Bilal.
Tonight, the burden of rain is heavy for Bilal's father. Tonight, he will lay his son's body, as precious as gold, to rest with his own hands. The night is long, arduous, filled with cries and pleas from all around. Attempts will be made to halt Bilal's departure, but who can stop the one destined to leave? Tonight will pass, but its dawn will hold no magic. When the morning sun rises, Bilal's father will, with tears in his eyes, traverse the alleys, making mournful sounds in the mosque courtyard where Bilal began his journey. But now, that moment is unattainable. This night will echo with the cries from the mosque's walls, and fear will be evident, but Bilal will be nowhere to be seen. He has moved far beyond the blue badge, the green number plate, and the self-constructed standards of society. This time, he won't return. Farewell, Bilal.
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